Time

TIME has become an issue for me. It started right around my 50th birthday when I realized I'd summited the proverbial "hill" and stood there looking over the other side at the steep drop. Suddenly, it felt like I just didn't have enough time left! There is so much I still want to do, yet I find myself facing the other side of life, the final chapters. Feeling stressed for time creates stress. Often, I find that I can't sleep and I have a habit of over-extending myself, just to get everything in. I try to be an optimist and I understand that these feelings are not all negative. In fact, I keep getting better at recognizing and letting go of those things that hold little importance to me like drama, anger and regret. I have no desire to waste any time on trivial things or negative emotions!

50th Birthday Celebration,
still looking younger than the number on the cake

The importance of time is not new to me, but it was brought home recently when we lost our close friend, Laurie Michael Kumerow, to glioblastoma multiforme, an aggressive brain tumor. Laurie has been a part of our lives for all of time. She and I each married hometown Stillwater boys. We raised our children together, cross-country skied, went on vacations, celebrated milestones and shared many nights around a fire pit. She was a wonderful wife to Tim and a dedicated mother to her girls, Nicky and Katie. Laurie was an environmentalists, outdoorswoman, and adventurer. She lived life large! My life was blessed with her friendship.

 "The Stillwater Gang" at Tim & Laurie's Cabin

When Laurie was diagnosed with glioblastoma the fall of 2017, she asked me for wisdom because I had been through the cancer diagnosis only a year earlier. I told Laurie I had no wisdom; each cancer experience is unique. I knew the battle Laurie was facing though. Glioblastoma is the worst possible diagnosis one can receive in the brain tumor world. Laurie had options and TIME on her side, but the clock was boldly looking her in the eye! Still, I had hope that she would beat this.

Laurie had surgery which removed 80% of the tumor. A few months later we gathered with a group of friends. Laurie sat next to me and reached over to touch my sleeve. When I looked in her eyes, I saw tears. She said she'd been researching her illness and understood how serious her situation was. I took her hand in mine and said, "Laurie, the truth is, we are all dying. No one gets out alive! You just have more urgency to live the way you really want to. We are here to support you. Look around you, all of these people are here for you. Can you feel the love?" Laurie composed herself and agreed that she had a wonderful life, except for that damn brain tumor.

Laurie had a great summer! She and Tim spent many an afternoon on the patio of the local pubs, watching the world go by, enjoying a cold beer and time together. In the fall, Laurie's health took a turn for the worse. In spite of this, her family organized a group of over 35 family members and friends to walk the American Brain Tumor Association BT5K. Together we raised over $6,000 with Team Laurie's Legions. It was an emotional day, full of love and devotion. On some level, we all sensed that Laurie was failing, yet, on this day, she was with us 100%. The experience remains a beautiful, cherished memory for me. As we walked, I asked Laurie again " Do you feel the love?" She smiled at me and nodded her head, YES!

Laurie with Carol Durtschi At BT5K

Laurie lost her 14 month battle with glioblastoma multiforme on November 13, 2018. She quietly slipped away with her family at her side. We attended the celebration of her life. It was a day for family and friends to toast Laurie and to relive her remarkable life in photos and stories.

I think of Laurie every day. It's hard to accept that she is gone. She is a reminder for me to enjoy each and every moment I am blessed with...just like she did!

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."

― Mother Theresa

In Loving Memory of

Laurie Michael Kumerow

Photo courtesy of her family