Dreams & Realities ~ With a healthy dose of mortality

The winter of 2014 was BRUTAL! Temperatures have been well below zero for much of January. Local schools have shut down for "cold" days five times this month. Fuel prices are alarmingly high for families who are already stretching their budgets beyond reason. Some days it's hard to get out of bed, but still, we dream of springtime, warm weather and sailing aboard our Alberg 35, Mystic.

St. Paul Winter Carnival 2014

It is easy to fall into a rut living here in Minnesota. We try to hold onto the adventure and excitement of the summer and apply them to the cold months with snowboarding and winter festivals, good food and lots of hot coffee. It's something we have to work at. Everything is hard in the winter. Everything!

Split Rock Lighthouse View

Snowboarding at Welch Village

Snow Angel

I'd been thinking a lot about our future. Dave is ready to leave the comfort of our mundane, yet safe routine of work, play, saving for retirement, more work, more play. He reminds me that we are not getting any younger; our bodies are not recovering from the battering of all that play. Dave wants to go cruising NOW, while we still have our health and our ambition for this adventure. I want this too; but I am the careful one and the voice of reason. I want everything to be in place and perfect before we embark on this lifelong dream. As we tossed around the pros and cons life happened.

Life is full forks in the road. Just when you think you've settled into a routine, something comes up that rocks your world and changes your perception. Mortality has been nudging me with a sledgehammer intensity this past year. My first hit came with the sudden death of my father and the next with the passing of an old friend. James was our high school class president. He was kind to everyone, smart and athletic; a real nice guy. After high school, I did not see James but we reconnected on Facebook and I saw him at our 35th high school reunion in October of 2013. I spent some time with James catching up on life today and life over the years. We sat together, chatting and, at times, just sitting quietly, watching the festivities together. It was easy to be quiet with James. I could see that he was not well but he didn't talk about it. His health issues were made public in January 2014 when James made his way home to Groton, Connecticut to spend his last days in hospice care surrounded by family and friends. He passed away on Monday, January 27, 2014. He was 53 years young. His early passing made an impact on all of us. Once again, mortality was nudging me.

With James Chapman at our 35th high school reunion

It was fun to see all my classmates at the reunion. Several of them were either fighting cancer or would soon be fighting cancer. Facebook was becoming a Caring Bridge extension with too many posts of people struggling with health issues. The reality of aging and mortality was in my face reminding me that no one gets out alive. The saying, "Live like your dying", was running around in my head, feverishly, like a gerbil on a wheel. I felt bad for those who were struggling. I felt bad for being healthy. I didn't want to live like I was dying...I wanted to live like I was LIVING! I wanted to take the reins of my life and yell giddy up, then sprint off into the sunrise of my life, not sit quietly waiting for the sunset!

My classmates celebrating our 35th High School Reunion

As a marathoner, I know about struggle. I know about perseverance. I know about never quitting. Every fork in the road has unknown challenges, and sometimes things don't work out as planned. It would be so easy to keep putting off our dreams until everything is perfect. That might feel safe but the reality is, we don't have forever. Mortality shows no discrimination; it visits everyone, often without warning. It has a way of waking us up. I didn't expect my dad to die last year. I certainly didn't expect to see my friend or others in my age group pass away either. Mortality has my attention. I am fully awake; aware and eager to get both feet deep into anything that fills me up. My fear of the unknown is replaced by my fear of time evaporating. It's time to implement our plans for cruising aboard Mystic. Life has provided us a nudge!

Mystic docked at Lime Island, MI - 2013