Memories Bring Back You

The bulletin board in my kitchen is covered with photos of loved ones who have passed. The photos remind me of happy times, sweet memories and the old adage, You Only Live Once! There's a lot of living on my collage.

Tucked in amongst the array is a cherished photo of me with my mom aboard our Alberg 34, s/v Mystic. Mom visited us when we were docked in Westerly, Rhode Island. I never expected that she'd come aboard as she wasn't comfortable on the water. This small gesture of interest in my life stands out for me. During this time, she was struggling with health issues. I wonder if memory loss allowed her to forget her fear.

Mom slipped away last April. She was ready to wrap things up and join all her friends that were waiting at heaven's door; even if we were not. Life goes on, as it should. Things have changed due to her absence but I feel her presence and hear her voice often, especially when I need it most. A couple months after her death, my sister sent me one of Mom's old voice messages that she'd saved. I gasped when I heard mom say, "I'm still here!"

I am reminded, often daily, that my mother is no longer with us, but I see and feel her everywhere. I was making my bed when I realized that every bed in my house has a beautiful hand made afghan that was meticulously crocheted by my mother. I look at her perfectly uniform stitches and remember watching her hands as she created these heirloom works of art. I am quickly consumed with a flood of other memories that make me sad before they fill me with joy and warm me with the sense of her love for her family. I still feel that love!

I find myself doing silly things that make me feel closer to her, like adding a splash of Fabulosa to my laundry. It's like I'm proving that she taught me well and that I was a good learner. Her influence is everywhere.

I had a routine of calling my mom every day at around the same time. For a long time after she passed, I was heartbroken to walk face first into the reality that she was not there to pick up the phone. It's not that I forgot that she was gone. It's more that I desperately wanted her to always be there, my greatest fan, my sounding board where I could say anything without judgement; she was my safe place.

I've come to realize that feelings of grief and love are similar, except grief includes the added complication of loss. Over this past year, my grief has evolved from debilitating pain into a trigger that leads me to happy thoughts of her, like the day she visited our boat.

My grief can be overwhelming, but it comes with wonderful and funny memories that bring her back to me. When I am overcome with sadness I hear my mom's voice telling me, "Don't be sad, I'm just acting my age!" In her own way, she tried to tell me that dieing is a part of life. 

I've come to accept grief. It still hurts that she is gone but I smile when I think of her. Memories of her are sweet and remind me of how lucky I am to have had her at all.

Mom aboard Mystic

The Outer Banks

Manteo, North Carolina is a twenty two hour drive from Minnesota. We booked a week on Roanoke Island with the idea of staying in the Outer Banks area while exploring surrounding communities in search of a place to retire. By the time we got there we learned that 'ManTeo' is pronounced 'Maneo'.

Our route to the coast ran through the Appalachian, Blue Ridge and Allegheny mountains. Our little four cylinder car protested as we maneuvered each mountain pass. We only barely out-ran the big trucks in the slow lane. On the drive south, we stayed in Charleston, West Virginia, a river town where our hotel sat along the wide Kanawha River; a dark and moody body of water with a strong current.

Once we crossed from Virginia into North Carolina and the Outer Banks, we made a stop at Coinjock Marina and Restaurant. We'd been there several times before aboard different boats and stayed at the docks. This visit, the docks were mostly empty. When the bartender heard we were headed for the Outer Banks, he recommended we try Swell's a Brewing Microbrewery in Nag's Head. He mentioned that Outer Banks Brewery didn't have good beer. We took his advice on the good beer brewery but not on the bad. We should have listened!

Coinjock Marina Sandbar

The bar at Coinjock Marina 

Enjoying an IPA at Coinjock Marina

Manteo is a town on Roanoke Island. It is named after Chief Manteo, of the Croatan tribe. We stayed at the Heart of Manteo motel, a fisherman's destination. It was off season so the rates were super cheap. Our hotel was within walking distance of the boardwalk that runs along the Roanoke Sound and out onto Ice plant Island. The boardwalk is lined with shops and condos and the docks are filled with boats. We walked the boardwalk each morning and passed the same group of people playing with their dogs who came to say hello to us. Our boardwalk route was 2.5 miles round trip. We racked up a lot of miles in North Carolina!

Roanoke Marshes Light

Manteo Boathouse

The Ella View

Prickly Pear

Replica of the Elizabeth II
The Lost Colony Ship

The docks at Manteo

Cool shop in Wanchese, NC
On the south end of Roanoke Island

We spent our first two days driving to nearby communities that we are interested in. Plymouth, Edenton and Washington are south and west of Manteo. We found Plymouth to be a cute little farm town suffering from hard times. Most of the neighborhoods in town had abandoned homes. The town had very little commerce beyond a recently built grocery. We were quickly able to cross Plymouth off our list. We are looking for a small town but we want a community.

Plymouth, North Carolina 

Replica of Roanoke River Light
Plymouth, NC

Old Ironside replica in Plymouth 

We'd been to both Washington and Edenton before and fell in love with the southern charm and small town atmosphere. Both towns are steeped in history. Edenton is small with a population of around 4,000. Washington has about 10,000 residents. Our goal was to check out specific neighborhoods. We thought we'd like to live downtown but big houses on small lots made it feel over crowded. We were quickly discouraged by the options. We did find one house in Washington Park, just outside the city of Washington. It sits along a canal only blocks from the Pamlico Sound. It was recently remodeled, but it is smaller than what we are looking for.

Yellow brick road,
Edenton, North Carolina 

Downtown Edenton, North Carolina 

Edenton, North Carolina 

Roanoke River Lighthouse

We took a break from house shopping and spent the next few days exploring the Outer Banks. Fort Raleigh is on the north end of Manteo. We toured the visitors center and learned about the lost colony, a group of British settlers who were the first to land in the United States in 1587. This colony is the oldest in the history of America. The settlers disappeared without a trace after only a few years on Roanoke Island. There are theories of what happened to them but no evidence that one theory is more possible than any of the others. The story of the Lost Colony is fascinating and intriguing. We were taken way back in time at Fort Raleigh.

Fort Raleigh National Historic Site

The berm and gate around Fort Raleigh

Fort Raleigh Waterside Amphitheater

Shoreline along Fort Raleigh

During the Civil War, union soldiers took control over the Outer Banks making Roanoke Island a safe haven for run-away slaves. After the war, an African American settlement blossomed there. The Freedom Trail winds through the woods around the Fort. It is an easy 2.5 mile round trip hike that is lined with historical markers and silhouettes telling the story of the early days on the Island. Fort Raleigh has the beautiful Waterside Amphitheater overlooking the Croatan Sound. It has been host to the drama, The Lost Colony, since 1937. 

Hiking the Freedom Trail

Live Oak, Freedom Trail 

Along the Freedom Trail

We wanted to see the entire length of the Outer Banks so we drove south toward Cape Hatteras on a blustery day as a big storm was headed up the coast. The wind whipped sand across the road and blasted our car the entire way. We stopped at Bodie Lighthouse and hiked the grounds that led us out to the salt marsh. We drove south as far as Hatteras Light but found it was closed and hidden by scaffolding. As the weather deteriorated, we drove north with the wind at our backs. Before making our way to the safety of our room, we stopped in Nag's Head to try Swell's a Brewing Microbrewery. The storm caught us , bringing lightening and thunder. 

Sand whipped outer banks NC Highway 12

Bodie Light view from salt ponds

Cape Hatteras Light
undergoing repairs

Stormy stop at Swells'A Brewing

Swell's a Brewing Beers

We still hadn't seen the north end of the Outer Banks so we headed toward Corolla, pronounced 'Corallah'. The drive was beautiful, passing through small communities nestled between wooded areas; very different from the drive to Hatteras which was through the sand dunes. We passed Nag's Head, Kill Devil Hills and Kitty Hawk, then the town of Duck before reaching Corolla. We visited the fabulous Visitor's Center and were directed to the Currituck Lighthouse near the tiny downtown. The historic Whalehead Club, a secluded oceanfront retreat for hunters and conservationists was a short walk from the lighthouse. An amazing bridge, erected in 1922, was the only means to visit the Whalehead.

Currituck Lighthouse

Bridge to the Whalehead

Amazing 1922 Bridge Architecture

The Whalehead

Whalehead skull

We hiked the Currituck Banks Preserve Forest Trail and Corolla Beach looking for wild horses but only saw signs that they had been there. The trail is an easy hike along a boardwalk with side trails leading into the boggy forest. The beach runs along the Atlantic coast. We were told we could find sea glass but gathered only a few cat's eye shells. It was a beautiful day!

Currituck Banks
Preserve Forest Trail

Corolla Beach

Looking for more options for retirement, we took a day to drive to Hertford and Elizabeth City. Both have interested us in our search for a new home. Hertford is a very small town with beautiful homes. Elizabeth City is bigger with almost 20,000 inhabitants. We'd visited Elizabeth City back in 1982 aboard our sailboat Keewatin and stayed at the Hadley Marina Riverside Boatworks. The marina owner, Mary Hadley, drove us into town for supplies. She was very kind to us. We recently learned that she passed away at age 88. 

We could see that Elizabeth City was setting up for the Coast Guard Marathon. About 1,500 runners would be participating in one of the four race options. It is said to be a good, flat Boston Marathon qualifying course, but, apparently, their can be some big winds in Elizabeth City. You can run faster on a flat course but it may be into the wind in this town. 

Elizabeth City Mural

On our way back to Manteo, we visited the Dismal Swamp Canal which opened in 1805 and is the oldest continually operated, man-made canal in the United States. We traversed the canal and stayed at the free dock aboard our sailboat, Keewatin, back in 1982. Today, in addition to the free dock, there is a Visitor's Center and a 22 mile hiking trail along the canal. We hiked a few miles of the trail and enjoyed revisiting this peaceful spot.

Dismal Swamp Canal free dock

Dismal Swamp Trail

Flat bottomed canal barges

Moonshine in the swamp

Dismal Swamp Visitor's Center 

Free Docks along
Dismal Swamp Canal

Loki, the 5 ton Gasoline Locomotive

Coinjock was on our way so we stopped at the Marina for a beer. This time, there was a huge cabin cruiser sitting at the dock. Their Looper flag was flying at the bow. We caught up with the Captain and said hello then discovered that the boat started the Loop in St. Paul Minnesota. It's a small world!

As luck would have it, our friend Tom and his girlfriend, Vickie, happened to be in Portsmouth, Virginia. They drove out to the Outer Banks to see us. We hadn't met Vickie before but quickly felt as though we'd known her forever. The four of us made stops at two microbreweries before having dinner at Arthur's Place, a cute little local restaurant across from the beaches. After dinner and a short nap, we took an evening walk along the Manteo boardwalk. It was a lovely day!

Happy to be spending time with friends

Tom and Vickie

Lost Colony Patio

Bathroom Door
Lost Colony Brewery

Our time on the North Carolina coast was over but we had one more stop on our way north. We got up early to head for Ednyville, a small North Carolina mountain town to visit our friends Michelle and Kay. They moved to Ednyville from Florida in October. It took us about seven hours to get there. The last hour was spent winding through hills and curvy roads. Our visit was short but we managed to slip in stops at Dry Falls Brewery and Trailside Brewery. Their new home is in a beautiful area that was affected by storm Helene last November. Many of the roads were washed out in the flooding. We couldn't get to the local state parks due to the damage. We enjoyed our visit and seeing our friends new home.

With Kay and Michelle

Dry Falls Brewery

Trailside Brewery 

We learned a lot about the North Carolina coast during our trip. It will take several visits for us to make a decision on where our next adventure will begin. We look forward to it. It was a long drive home through the mountains. We had a lot of time to think about the future!

Sunrise over the
Alligator River