New Year's eve 2014 was like many others. We enjoyed a nice home-cooked lobster dinner then sat around sipping champagne and contemplated our New Year's resolutions. In the past we'd come up with practical commitments that only lasted a week, like promising to drink more water. This year, I wanted to chose something that would actually influence my life, long term; something I could measure at the end of the year. Finally, I decided that I would be brave. What did this mean to me? Well, on New Year's Eve 2013, it meant I'd take chances, live outside my comfort zone, challenge myself. In reality, it meant I would, at times, live with anxiety and uncertainty as I learned to believe in myself.
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| Minnesota Iron Range Shack |
The year unfolded out of a frigid, frozen winter which brought me many opportunities to practice bravery. My first opportunity came from boredom and loneliness. Dave was working 7 days a week and I was feeling sorry for myself. I decided to drive north on my own adventure to the Sax-Zim Bog to look for owls. Navigating by myself was not something I relished but I was thrilled to find my way there and actually get photos of an owl on the corner of Owl Avenue and Arkola Road!
I faced another challenge in February when my friend Steve Phelps invited me to join Team Fairvillains at the Ragnar Florida Keys Relay. I accepted the offer then quickly became nervous about the details of the trip. I would have to fly to Ft. Lauderdale, pick up a 15 passenger van reserved in my name by a gal I'd never met before, find my way to Miami then drive 6 wild and crazy runners to Key West. I was beginning to realize that navigation was an issue for me.
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| Steve & Beth Ragnar Florida Keys |
Throughout the year, chances to be brave popped up often and, at times, unexpectedly. In March Dave invited me to join him in San Diego where he was working a trade show. I had never been to California. I spent a lot of time on my own, exploring the city and running the steps of San Diego with a gazillion strangers. I enjoyed every moment!
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| One of many sets of steps in San Diego |
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| San Diego Welcome |
In April I had surgery to repair a badly fractured heel. I had to lay in bed for 6 weeks. There was no guarantee that I would run again. During my recovery, it took all my strength and courage to simply take a shower. Finding my way through the haze of pain and depression was difficult. Running is how I navigate the tough times. It's my stress reliever.
I survived the long recovery with the help of my wonderful physical therapist, Mike. Against his advice, I ran for the first time in July. We were visiting family in Connecticut. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to join the weekly Dog Watch Cafe run/walk in Stonington Village. My plan was to walk the 5k course and meet Dave, who was running, at the finish. With good intentions I began walking fast but found that putting a little bounce into my gait didn't increase my pain level. I managed to finish with a smile in 37 minutes. Even I could argue that this was stupid but it does take courage to face physical pain. It made me very happy though!
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| Happy after my 1st shower in 10 days! |
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| My medal, a popcicle stick |
When summer finally arrived and our Alberg 35, Mystic was launched at Knife River, I was excited, or was it terrified, to face my goal of docking our sailboat. I really want to and I need to be able to bring Mystic in and out of port. I am not comfortable with the level of responsibility involved in captaining during dockage. It's so much easier to let Dave do this job while I remain in my comfort zone handling the dock lines. I worry about wind, traffic, and all the unknowns as I go over the steps of docking in my head, possibly making it seem harder than it actually is.
Each weekend, something would get in the way of me taking my turn at the helm. The summer of 2014 was miserably cold and wet. We went out on Lake Superior only a handful of times. I did not end up bringing Mystic in or out of port. This was probably a little bit due to circumstances and a little bit due to avoidance. By the end of summer, my fear was replaced by determination. I'm guessing that 2015 will be the year of mastering docking!
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| Confident as Captain in open water |
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| My Captain |
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| Simply Eat, Sleep, Sail |
During my year of being brave I learned that fear and excitement are very similar emotions. The intensity of fear can paralyze us but it can also empower us. It is not a bad thing. What is bad, is limiting ourselves because of fear. Being brave is a mind set and a perspective. Feelings of trepidation are normal. It is our mind protecting us from danger and turning on our common sense perception.
The year has passed quickly. It's almost New Year's Eve again. The easiest thing to do is to continue last year's "Brave" commitment. There is definitely room for me to be braver! Pondered my options over champagne, I know I'd like to pick something that I'll be able to stick with; something that I can measure and proudly share at the end of 2015.
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| Dave & Beth ~ Navigating NYC together, November 2014 |
