A year of being BRAVE!

New Year's eve 2014 was like many others. We enjoyed a nice home-cooked lobster dinner then sat around sipping champagne and contemplated our New Year's resolutions. In the past we'd come up with practical commitments that only lasted a week, like promising to drink more water. This year, I wanted to chose something that would actually influence my life, long term; something I could measure at the end of the year. Finally, I decided that I would be brave. What did this mean to me? Well, on New Year's Eve 2013, it meant I'd take chances, live outside my comfort zone, challenge myself. In reality, it meant I would, at times, live with anxiety and uncertainty as I learned to believe in myself.

Minnesota Iron Range Shack

The year unfolded out of a frigid, frozen winter which brought me many opportunities to practice bravery. My first opportunity came from boredom and loneliness. Dave was working 7 days a week and I was feeling sorry for myself. I decided to drive north on my own adventure to the Sax-Zim Bog to look for owls. Navigating by myself was not something I relished but I was thrilled to find my way there and actually get photos of an owl on the corner of Owl Avenue and Arkola Road!

I faced another challenge in February when my friend Steve Phelps invited me to join Team Fairvillains at the Ragnar Florida Keys Relay. I accepted the offer then quickly became nervous about the details of the trip. I would have to fly to Ft. Lauderdale, pick up a 15 passenger van reserved in my name by a gal I'd never met before, find my way to Miami then drive 6 wild and crazy runners to Key West. I was beginning to realize that navigation was an issue for me.

Steve & Beth Ragnar Florida Keys

Throughout the year, chances to be brave popped up often and, at times, unexpectedly. In March Dave invited me to join him in San Diego where he was working a trade show. I had never been to California. I spent a lot of time on my own, exploring the city and running the steps of San Diego with a gazillion strangers. I enjoyed every moment!

One of many sets of steps in San Diego

San Diego Welcome

In April I had surgery to repair a badly fractured heel. I had to lay in bed for 6 weeks. There was no guarantee that I would run again. During my recovery, it took all my strength and courage to simply take a shower. Finding my way through the haze of pain and depression was difficult. Running is how I navigate the tough times. It's my stress reliever. 

I survived the long recovery with the help of my wonderful physical therapist, Mike. Against his advice, I ran for the first time in July. We were visiting family in Connecticut. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to join the weekly Dog Watch Cafe run/walk in Stonington Village. My plan was to walk the 5k course and meet Dave, who was running, at the finish. With good intentions I began walking fast but found that putting a little bounce into my gait didn't increase my pain level. I managed to finish with a smile in 37 minutes. Even I could argue that this was stupid but it does take courage to face physical pain. It made me very happy though!

Happy after my 1st shower in 10 days!

My medal, a popcicle stick

When summer finally arrived and our Alberg 35, Mystic was launched at Knife River, I was excited, or was it terrified, to face my goal of docking our sailboat. I really want to and I need to be able to bring Mystic in and out of port. I am not comfortable with the level of responsibility involved in captaining during dockage. It's so much easier to let Dave do this job while I remain in my comfort zone handling the dock lines. I worry about wind, traffic, and all the unknowns as I go over the steps of docking in my head, possibly making it seem harder than it actually is.

Each weekend, something would get in the way of me taking my turn at the helm. The summer of 2014 was miserably cold and wet. We went out on Lake Superior only a handful of times. I did not end up bringing Mystic in or out of port. This was probably a little bit due to circumstances and a little bit due to avoidance. By the end of summer, my fear was replaced by determination. I'm guessing that 2015 will be the year of mastering docking!

Confident as Captain in open water

My Captain

Simply Eat, Sleep, Sail

During my year of being brave I learned that fear and excitement are very similar emotions. The intensity of fear can paralyze us but it can also empower us. It is not a bad thing. What is bad, is limiting ourselves because of fear. Being brave is a mind set and a perspective. Feelings of trepidation are normal. It is our mind protecting us from danger and turning on our common sense perception.

The year has passed quickly. It's almost New Year's Eve again. The easiest thing to do is to continue last year's "Brave" commitment. There is definitely room for me to be braver! Pondered my options over champagne, I know I'd like to pick something that I'll be able to stick with; something that I can measure and proudly share at the end of 2015.

Dave & Beth ~ Navigating NYC together, November 2014

It's not goodbye...It's farewell, until we meet again!

My father always told me that a lucky man can count his closest friends on one hand. What he wanted me to understand was that the people we meet will come and go. Close friends come and stay.

In two years at Knife River we have been lucky with friends. We met Scott and Yolanda Moody the day we arrived in July 2013. They had driven from Oklahoma with their Ericson 27, Della Grace towed behind them. We met by chance and our connection was immediate. Scott and Yolanda left Knife River soon after we met for their journey dubbed "Lake Superior Summer." Later that fall, we visited them in Oklahoma and ran the Tulsa Marathon with Yolanda. Every time we meet, it's as though we'd never parted.

Scott and Yolanda Moody aboard Mystic, Duluth, MN

Della Grace; The Moody's Ericson 27

We met Jim and Linda Weckman, our new dock neighbors, after moving our boat to a slip on the outer dock at Knife River. They were preparing to leave Minnesota on a journey to navigate America's Great Loop aboard their Nauticat 38, Pemion. With Jim and Linda, there was always something to talk about. It didn't take long before we were spending a sizable chunk of our weekend aboard Pemion sharing stories, food and good cheer.

Dock neighbors ~ Pemion & Mystic

Pemion, approaching Knife River, MN

When it was time for them to leave on their journey, we bid them an emotional farewell. We did not know when we would meet again but we were certain that this was not goodbye. With close friends, it's never goodbye; It's "farewell until we meet again!"

Jim and Linda Weckman on the Knife River bench

Beth, Linda, Jim and Dave September 1, 2014 ~ Knife River, MN

Footnote:  Jim and Linda fell victim to a massive Lake Superior storm after arriving at Bayfield, WI. They had to chain Pemion to the Bayfield city dock while 26 foot seas pounded the big lake and 12 foot seas crashed over the dock. Pemion sustained damage and Jim and Linda were shaken by a night of rage from Mother Nature. After a series of mishaps they headed back to Knife River to regroup. We found them snuggled into a slip a few spots north of us. We picked up right where we left off, sorry that they had run into trouble but so happy to have more time with them. Life is generous when it offers more time with close friends.

Brightwork - Beautification Project or Exercise in Futility

July is almost over, yet we are just getting to that brightwork which has been bouncing up and down our 'To Do' list since last fall. I'm the sander, sealer, primer, painter in the family. It's not that Dave can't do it, on the contrary; his talents and expertise are mechanical. His skills are not wasted on the aesthetic final touches of our projects. He is the designer, builder, remodeler and General Contractor in our partnership. He is the Captain and I am his First Mate!

One of the criteria we had set while looking for an ocean going sailboat was attractive lines. At 48 years old, Mystic is technically an antique. She is elegant with a graceful slender hull, low freeboard and long overhangs on each end. The transom is wineglass shaped with a gentle curve and the deck is surrounded with a teak toe rail and 12 inch cockpit coaming. Mystic is adorned with a four foot, white oak bowsprit which reaches out from the bow some two feet. It supports the windless, keeping it clear from the topsides. Both the main and v-berth hatches and the hand rails are teak. The coal heater Charlie Noble, (smokestack), is set on top of a teak base. The winches are also on teak bases. All that teak falls victim to the elements. All that teak needs to be nurtured back to a fabulous luster. Mystic's interior is filled with teak as well. Luckily the interior teak is oiled rather than varnished. Maintenance is just a fresh coat of oil. It is not so with the exterior trimmings.

Teak and Holly Floors

More than once we thought about looking for and purchasing a wooden boat; but the daunting reality of all that brightwork gave us cause to stop and reconsider. Mystic is a lovely combination of fiberglass hull and wood embellishments. Although she has more fiberglass than wood, she needs a lot of attention. We'd heard stories from our sailing friends about the hours spent sanding and varnishing teak. We were up for it, so long as we got the right boat. Mystic is definitely the right boat but we are beginning to wonder about being up for the never ending brightwork.

My first brightwork attempts were aimed at the main hatch, the hand rails and the Charlie Noble base. I hand sanded each piece but found that the old varnish had worn through in patches. I didn't like how this looked. I laid the first coat of varnish then cleaned up my supplies for the day. It seemed like I had accomplished very little. The next morning we woke to fog. Dave is always the first to rise. He starts his day by making a pot of coffee then he opens the hatch to greet the morning. This morning, he glances at my handiwork. Kindly, Dave waits until I have my first cup of coffee to tell me that my varnish has gone bad overnight. The clear finish is now as white as the thick fog which had settled in over Knife River during the night. It would all have to be sanded out and revarnished. I was not happy about that.

Main Hatch

Hand Rail - Before Brightwork

Hand Rail - After Varnish

V-berth hatch

Clearly I was in for a rough time with this brightwork. The reality of just how much teak I planned to hand sand became overwhelming for me. I needed an orbital palm sander, more tape, better paint brushes and lots of time! Dave took me to Duluth for supplies and I went back at it as soon as we returned to Knife River. I'm not sure if it was my attitude or the confidence that purchasing project supplies gave me, but things improved. I managed to get the main hatch, one hand rail and the Charlie Noble base sanded out and one coat of varnish applied before time ran out. These few areas looked GORGEOUS! I tried not to look at the yards of teak yet to be touched. Instead, I tried to focus on the results of my efforts and the euphoria I felt at bringing out the natural beauty of our sailboat. I know that one day I will lay the final layer of varnish over the last inch of teak. I will sit back to enjoy a job well done. There will probably be a bottle of wine and a fancy meal to celebrate. I expect we will be tired from a long day of hard work. We may go to bed early and we will need our rest. With brightwork, the end is really the beginning. The following day, one of us will notice that the main hatch, is beginning to look a bit worn.

Bowsprite

Looking through main hatch

Splashing Mystic...Year Two

The sound of gulls, clanking halyards and the engine of the Harbor Hoist boat lift fill the air. The marina is full of men dressed in layers of old woolen sweaters, many with holes worn at the elbow; but they stand at attention, coffee cup lifted to there lips, watching and waiting for their turn to splash their boat for the 2014 boating season on Lake Superior.

Knife Island ~ Lake Superior

We are at Knife River preparing Mystic for launching. The first thing I notice is the cawing of the gulls. Knife Island is a haven for gulls and pelicans during the warm months. It is barren over winter. Dave has set up a lawn chair for me to sit quietly, out of the way, as he sands, cleans and repaints Mystic's bottom. I'm still in the bright purple cast with a broken heel; waiting to be able to put weight on my foot. Until then, I'm relegated to taking a few photos of our day from my ground level viewpoint.

It's a nice day on Lake Superior with temps hovering around 60. The sun peaks out throughout the day but it is not hot. Dave hand sanded the red bottom paint then cleaned the dust from the hull. We were both surprised at how much paint dust fell from the light sanding. It would have to be cleaned up. As an afterthought, Dave wished he'd put a tarp down to collect the dust. Since he did not think of this beforehand, we used sponges and a bucket of very cold water. If you've never experienced cleaning a blacktop parking lot with a sponge, you are the lucky one. It was not an easy task but we were able to get the mess removed. 

We reserved a hotel in Two Harbors for the night. Dave picked a little mom and pop place called the Voyageur. This motel is the kind of place you don't "stay" at; you only sleep there. It's clean and comfortable but the rooms are small and have no frills. We are both tired so we are content with a warm room and a comfortable bed.

Before returning to the marina in the morning, we stopped at a cute little joint down on the lake called Louise's Place for a hearty breakfast. The restaurant is in the back of The Pub bar by the historic train depot in Two Harbors. Louise's Place is also a craft shop. There were a few small round tables situated within several open rooms. The restaurant is filled with handmade items for purchase like beaded jewelry and custom bags. Beautiful quilts hang from the walls and quilt racks. I sat at one of the round tables taking it all in as Dave ordered our North woods breakfast at the counter, two egg omelets with cranberry wild rice toast. The food is excellent! The place was filled with what looked to be locals. I'm sure it's really popular on the weekend. Everyone was friendly and chatted freely with each other and with us.

It's about eight miles from Two Harbors to Knife River. When we arrived at the marina, Dave got right to work preparing Mystic to be splashed. He suctioned the anti-freeze from the engine then filled it with clean water. Next he loaded supplies from the truck to the boat and finally, he polished the hull. I wasn't much help with these tasks since I couldn't maneuver a ladder or carry anything. My hands were occupied with crutches. My plan was to sit in the truck or the lawn chair and crochet while watching the happenings at the dock. Spending time at a marina is something I have always enjoyed. There is so much going on and so much to see. Today was no exception. From my vantage point I watched boats being launched all day. It appeared that the launching process was filled with glitches but the yard workers took everything in stride. There would be no launch for Mystic today. The marina manager put us on the launch list for Wednesday and we headed south to Stillwater.  Dave would return to Knife River mid week and facilitate the move from cradle to slip.

Dave left for Knife River at 5:00 am on May 28th in order to arrive at the same time as the yard workers. He got there at 7:30 and waited. It was a chilly 40 degree morning with a light breeze blowing. Everyone was wearing jackets and gloves. He talked to the yard workers and found that Mystic would be the first boat going in. The only things he had to do was put a fresh stainless cotter pin on the prop shaft nut and paint the holidays, which are the unpainted spots where the boat rested on the stands all winter. Mystic was sitting close to the launch so it only took about five minutes to pick her up and splash her into the slipway.  After a few cranks, the engine started and ran well. Dave let it idle for a good 15 minutes before he attempted to make his way to our new slip along the lakeside shoreline dock. The wind was coming off the lake which is the perfect direction for the move. He was able to gently ease into the slip all by himself. There were very few boats in the water, which helped. He tied Mystic to the dock, put out the fenders and set the spring line. The wind was picking up and was too strong to put the sails back on. He went through the boat and tightened every bolt and nut he could find. He was surprised at how many had loosened during our first year. Dave chatted with the guy a couple slips over who was planning to keep his boat in Bayfield for the summer but couldn't get there because the Apostle Islands were still iced up. We didn't know it at the time but it would be late June before the ice would leave the big lake!

Memorial Day 2014

Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery, San Diego, CA

It is Memorial Day, the day to remember and honor those who have fought and died while serving in the US armed forces. Each Memorial Day we walk to the Historic Stillwater Courthouse and participate in the lovely service held there. This year I can not go. I am restricted by a cast on my leg and an order to not bear weight on my broken foot. This year I have to listen to the festivities from blocks away; paying tribute in my own way at home.

I could hear bits of the broadcast from my yard. At the end, a trio of military planes soared overhead in formation, bringing tears to my eyes. My thoughts brought me back to my childhood; way back to preschool, a time I am in awe that I even remember:

We lived in New London, Connecticut back then, right across the street from Connecticut College. The College grounds were our playground. My mother would walk us over to the other side of William Street and we would frolic and explore to our hearts content on the campus grounds. In the summer, my mother used to take us to a beach on the New London side of the Thames River. I don't remember the name of the beach but I do remember that we had to maneuver a set of stairs down to the beach. The steps were made of metal and you could see through them to the shore below. My sister and brother ran down those steps as fast as they could but I held tight to my mother's hand, frightened that I would fall. I swear there were 100 steps and I remember how paralyzed with fear that I was. I loved the beach and water though and the long descent was worth it, but I always knew that I had to climb back up to go home.

My mother had a daily routine. We spent the morning at the beach but went home in time for lunch. She put us all down for a nap after lunch. I vividly remember laying on my parent's big bed and rolling around on the coverlet. My mother would put the radio on for me. It was always mid day so the news would come on. It was the early 60's and the Vietnam War was in full force. Each day, the reporter would read the casualty list, reciting the first name and last name of each soldier who had lost their life in combat in the last 24 hours. I knew, at the tender age of four years old, that I had an Uncle Bobby who was fighting in the war. I had no idea what that meant but I knew enough to realize that the casualty list was a place you didn't want to find a loved one. In my parents bed, I tossed and turned in the summer heat and listened for my Uncle Bobby's name. I remember this; in the early 60's there were a lot of soldiers named Bobby. It seems like I cried myself to sleep every day during nap time.

Each Memorial Day I make an effort to acknowledge and honor those who fight, have fought and those who have lost their lives serving America. They are our hometown heroes!

Unexpected Obstacles

Our first obstacle is weather! Spring 2014 was scheduled to arrive on March 20th. Apparently, someone forgot to send the memo to Mother Nature. On April 19th there is still no sign that winter is willing to release us just yet. We've completed all of our winter traditions including spring break, and snowboarding the mountain meltdown at Lutsen Mountain in northern Minnesota. It's usually time to think about marathon training and sailing season. Not this year; Duluth Minnesota received 12 inches of snow last week. This is not sailing weather!

Beth - Snowboarding at Lutsen Mountain

Dave - King of the Mountain, Lake Superior

Obstacle number two; Dave and I are often, if not always, nursing a chronic running injury or two. I've been suffering with an old stress fracture. This year I decided to get the darn thing "fixed" and scheduled surgery to shave down the bone fragment in order to stop the painful inflammation I get when I run long distances. Surgery was scheduled for after our Lutsen Mountain Meltdown weekend in April. My logic was this; I wanted to enjoy that last exciting weekend on the big mountain but I also wanted to be ready for our 2014 running season and for sailing. A mid April surgery would allow time for healing before our summer fun begins. Great idea; I thought!

Relaxing on the beach at Lutsen Lodge, Lake Superior

During surgery, my surgeon found out that my "stress" fracture was a little more than a rogue bone chip. I had a full fracture of the calcaneus bone. The break went right into my ankle joint. What should have been a routine surgery turned into a challenge. Dr. Bourne screwed the bone together and drilled a few tiny holes in my heel to encourage healing. Apparently, feet do not heel very well. It has to do with gravity and blood flow. I awoke from surgery thinking my recovery would be two weeks of non weight bearing and four weeks in a boot. My condition sentenced me to six weeks no weight bearing followed by four weeks in a boot and lots of physical therapy. Disappointed about the delay this would cause but determined to remain optimistic, I did everything I was told to do and focused on recovery.

My care givers, who I lovingly, refer to as Nurse Ratched and Dr. Killjoy, show great patience with my occasional tantrums, encouraging me to relax and rest. It's frustrating to be forced to sit still, day after day! I have moments of despair but my outbursts are short. The happy pills kick in really fast and, for a while, I forget that I'm hoping to run a 200 mile relay and a marathon in just a few months!

Wineglass Marathon, Oct 3-5, Bath, NY

Ragnar Great River Aug 15-16

It's no surprise that Dave spends more than a little time each day planning for our summer aboard Mystic. He has purchased bottom paint and a new halyard for the roller furling. He rebuilt beautiful mahogany doors for the head and anchor locker and he had the small tear in the main repaired at a sail shop. He is more than ready for our sailing season to begin. It suddenly struck him that I will not be able to board our boat. Although he could have waited a few weeks to bring this reality to my attention, we would have to figure this out. My first reaction was that he could build me a gangplank. I have a lot of varnishing to do this spring but I realized that the winter from hell would delay this work. It's possible I'll be in the boot by the time the weather allows spring projects. Instead of reacting with emotion, I'm trying to remain an optimist.

Beth aboard Mystic 2013

As we move through my recovery and plan for summer, I realize that life is full of obstacles. There are no guarantees. The trials we are facing this year are small when viewed from the larger lens of life. My mother would say, "Things can always be worse!"

In my heart I know that this too shall pass; I will run, I will sail and I will varnish in 2014. Of this I am certain!

Mystic on the hard ~ Knife River, MN

Dreams & Realities ~ With a healthy dose of mortality

The winter of 2014 was BRUTAL! Temperatures have been well below zero for much of January. Local schools have shut down for "cold" days five times this month. Fuel prices are alarmingly high for families who are already stretching their budgets beyond reason. Some days it's hard to get out of bed, but still, we dream of springtime, warm weather and sailing aboard our Alberg 35, Mystic.

St. Paul Winter Carnival 2014

It is easy to fall into a rut living here in Minnesota. We try to hold onto the adventure and excitement of the summer and apply them to the cold months with snowboarding and winter festivals, good food and lots of hot coffee. It's something we have to work at. Everything is hard in the winter. Everything!

Split Rock Lighthouse View

Snowboarding at Welch Village

Snow Angel

I'd been thinking a lot about our future. Dave is ready to leave the comfort of our mundane, yet safe routine of work, play, saving for retirement, more work, more play. He reminds me that we are not getting any younger; our bodies are not recovering from the battering of all that play. Dave wants to go cruising NOW, while we still have our health and our ambition for this adventure. I want this too; but I am the careful one and the voice of reason. I want everything to be in place and perfect before we embark on this lifelong dream. As we tossed around the pros and cons life happened.

Life is full forks in the road. Just when you think you've settled into a routine, something comes up that rocks your world and changes your perception. Mortality has been nudging me with a sledgehammer intensity this past year. My first hit came with the sudden death of my father and the next with the passing of an old friend. James was our high school class president. He was kind to everyone, smart and athletic; a real nice guy. After high school, I did not see James but we reconnected on Facebook and I saw him at our 35th high school reunion in October of 2013. I spent some time with James catching up on life today and life over the years. We sat together, chatting and, at times, just sitting quietly, watching the festivities together. It was easy to be quiet with James. I could see that he was not well but he didn't talk about it. His health issues were made public in January 2014 when James made his way home to Groton, Connecticut to spend his last days in hospice care surrounded by family and friends. He passed away on Monday, January 27, 2014. He was 53 years young. His early passing made an impact on all of us. Once again, mortality was nudging me.

With James Chapman at our 35th high school reunion

It was fun to see all my classmates at the reunion. Several of them were either fighting cancer or would soon be fighting cancer. Facebook was becoming a Caring Bridge extension with too many posts of people struggling with health issues. The reality of aging and mortality was in my face reminding me that no one gets out alive. The saying, "Live like your dying", was running around in my head, feverishly, like a gerbil on a wheel. I felt bad for those who were struggling. I felt bad for being healthy. I didn't want to live like I was dying...I wanted to live like I was LIVING! I wanted to take the reins of my life and yell giddy up, then sprint off into the sunrise of my life, not sit quietly waiting for the sunset!

My classmates celebrating our 35th High School Reunion

As a marathoner, I know about struggle. I know about perseverance. I know about never quitting. Every fork in the road has unknown challenges, and sometimes things don't work out as planned. It would be so easy to keep putting off our dreams until everything is perfect. That might feel safe but the reality is, we don't have forever. Mortality shows no discrimination; it visits everyone, often without warning. It has a way of waking us up. I didn't expect my dad to die last year. I certainly didn't expect to see my friend or others in my age group pass away either. Mortality has my attention. I am fully awake; aware and eager to get both feet deep into anything that fills me up. My fear of the unknown is replaced by my fear of time evaporating. It's time to implement our plans for cruising aboard Mystic. Life has provided us a nudge!

Mystic docked at Lime Island, MI - 2013